(1) ... Old Chub Guy who doesn't care anymore: you can easily recognize this guy by his low-hanging cow balls and shower sandals, this guy is usually between the ages of 70-90 and has lost all sense of privacy during WW11. He may have been in shape at some point in his life. But if there's one thing that you can be sure of, it's that if you're the only two people in the locker room, he will always sit right next to you.
(2) ... Physically fit Guy who makes you feel like a hobo: He has tan skin, tattoos, this cool guy walks around naked right in front of you to flaunt his muscular physique. (Shit! I would too, if I looked as good as he.) You can usually spot this guy checking himself out in the mirror, often times flexing.
(3) ... Whale Penis Man: You really don't want to look (and us guys shouldn't) but you do. I mean, this guy's schlong is freak'n HUGE! And here's how the secret look goes: First you look away so it's not so obvious. Then for what ever reason, you take a second look, probably just to make sure it wasn't his third leg. Finally, you just nod your head as he walks past you as if to say, "Congratulations... motherf**ker!"
(4) ... 'That Guy' who doesn't know Canadian Naked Protocol: My advise, just let this dude go. There's no getting through to this guy as he struts around the locker room. And even if you do speak his language, which you probably don't, you wouldn't want to insult his culture by asking him to cover up his body/wang because those guys have a tendency to blow shit up!!
(5) ... Some Normal Guy: This guy is OK. He's average size, not too flabby and he'll do anything he can do to avoid being seeing naked. This includes such things as coverage tactics as: putting his briefs on under the towel wrapped around his waist, changing in a stall, waiting for others to leave the locker room to remove his shirt/shorts or just exiting the locker room in his sweaty workout clothes.
There's no way the women deal with this shit! Or do they. All I know, is that I'm building a home gym ASAP!!
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Engineer aka: Chauffeur
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