Once Upon a time, we were innocent. Then, we joined the Fire Service!

Once Upon a time, we were innocent. Then, we joined the Fire Service!

Friday, October 31, 2014

Have A Safe & Scary Night!

Reporting from Off Scene

Well, as the Halloween season creeps and crawls into our lives, many stores are selling out with decorations, and party favors.

I am quite the fan of Halloween!  I choose to escape my busy and demanding schedule, throw my stern fatherhood/parenting aside for one evening and just have some harmless fun.  I am not out sacrificing animals or my fellow humans. I am not out vandalizing property, etc. either.

I choose to celebrate the lighter side of the eventful night as I try and put a more positive spin on Halloween. Halloween is a scary way to make and have fun. Today's kids have the option to wear funny costumes from movies.  Kids wear Batman's costumes and many other different comic heroes. None the less, kids young and old love to wear costumes and run from door to door and collect candies and there is nothing wrong with this in my opinion.  I guess, being that I am a responsible citizen and I would never harm another person with razor blades in apples... bad candy... I always take my kid(s) out, supervise them on their stroll and always check their stash of candy before they chow down.



To me and my crew/friends, Halloween is about community, sharing and being neighbourly. I have met families I might not of in my neighbourhood by opening up my door and sharing a treat on this night.  Seriously, what other night of the year do we share with complete strangers right from our own doorstep?  If anything, Halloween is a time of fellowship with our neighbours.  Halloween is a time that children get to be whoever they want to be, with joy, fun and silliness.  Halloween is a time for parents to escape from the constraints of a stressful world and be like children again themselves.  I know I do!!!  Halloween to me is not about standing in a fight against good and evil, it's about generosity, kindness and giving.

The origins of the holiday really do not matter to me, so don't bother telling them to me.  The way I see things, if the devil is expecting worship then he must be very disappointed in the generosity, fun, kindness and giving that have evolved around the day instead.  Besides, when Jesus said, "It is finished," I believe he meant it.  The truth to me is that most people including some Christians have nothing to fear on this day or any other day. God is God and his promises are always kept. So yes... I personally have no problem celebrating Halloween, but I do respect those who make the choice not to.

For those of you who do not celebrate this event... enjoy a wonderful Autumn night!

For those of you who do celebrate Halloween..... have yourself one spooky and safe evening!

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        captain
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I Get Paid - To Break Into Cars

Reporting From On Scene
Incident:  B & E

Nice lady has an infant and a toddler, along with a buggy full of groceries from Walmart. She secures the infant's car seat into the back, and puts the groceries in the car. For whatever reason, lays her purse and car keys on the driver’s seat. The inevitable happened and her infant was locked in. (Toddler shuts the door.)  Thankfully it wasn’t blistering hot outside or like one of our typical -37C winter days.

We used the break-in kit (officially called a lock-out kit) to start working on the door. If you’ve never seen one of these things, it has a small plastic wedge, an inflatable bladder, and a long rod that is also bendable.

To make a boring story shorter, We used the wedge to pry the top part of the door away from the frame enough so I could shove the bladder in along the back edge of the door and inflate it. We then stuck the rod in through the gap and hooked the lock, unlocking the door.


The baby was still sleeping. No damage to the car, not even a scratch.

Mom did make the comment about buying one of the kits and keeping it in her trunk. I managed to bite my tongue, but I wanted to ask her how she planned to get it out of the trunk if her keys were locked in the car. It’s a great thought, but not quite planned well enough.

This is why my keys stay on a carabiner attached to my belt loop. I’ve never once locked them in the car since I started doing that.

All in a day's shift!

     ╔════════════════╗
Engineer aka: Chauffeur      
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Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Wonder What My Neighbours Think!

Reporting from off scene

I was out in the driveway the other day minding my own business doing some sawing, measuring and pounding with a hammer to make a casket.  Halloween is fast approaching so I'm working to get ready.  We tend to "go all out" for the event.

When I was done with my last screw, I propped it up against the front of my garage and went in to check on my lunch.  When I came back out, I looked at the casket and realized that anyone walking by would have seen it.  I wonder what someone would have thought seeing a wooden casket leaning against someones garage.

For most people I would think they would understand that it's for Halloween. Then again, not everyone participates in the festivities that are centered around Halloween.  But seeing that we have four skeletons hanging around the front of the house from trees, the neighbours pretty much know what to expect from us.

Which reminds me, I need to go and pick up another skeletal hand and some more gruesome bloody body parts.

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      Lieutenant
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Saturday, October 25, 2014

The Joy of Being Part of a Brotherhood

Reporting from Off Scene

I was using the computer at the station to check my emails quickly.  After I finished checking, I quickly left the office to get back to station routine.  Unfortunately, I forgot to close and sign off from my Outlook Express.

The next day, as I was leaving the station, I got a call from an acquaintance, a girlfriend of someone that I have been seeing. She started yelling at me about how much of a jerk I was and how I don't appreciate Rachel.. yadda yadda yadda.

"And why would you write an email like that anyway? Rachel was devastated!" she yelled some more.

"What...???" I asked.

"You know, the email you sent the other day?"

What the hell is this she-devil screeching about? I didn't send Rachel any email the other day.

Unless... Oh no!!

I ran back to the office, turned on the computer and opened up my Outlook Express.  I looked under the sent items folder and read the following email, which was written and sent a few minutes after I had left the office:

Rachel;
Don't like you any more.  Stop emailing me.
LadderJockey

Real funny guys.

I didn't log off/sign off, which allowed others to access my emails.  Around here, when there's an opportunity, we cease the moment.  Just wasn't my day.

I do stupid things so you can all learn from my mistakes.

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    LadderJockey
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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

DO NOT DISTURB: Occupants at this station are disturbed enough already!

Reporting From On Scene
Incident:  Station Inspection

0600-0620 Roll Call and Shift Briefing – Done
0620-0645 PT and Exercises – Done
0645-0730 Station Maintenance – Done
0730-0830 Apparatus and Equipment Inspection – Done
0830-0930 Apparatus and Equipment Cleaning – Done
0930-1045 Extra Details – cleaned washroom, vacuumed bunkroom and change bedding, laundry – Done
1045-1200 Lunch – Delicious and Done
1200-1400 Training, review of SOP’s, LODD checks, etc. – Done
1400 – SURPRISE STATION INSPECTION by District Chief ???



A fairly quiet day (knock on wood).  Everything seems to be going well and we were managing to get a lot accomplished.  My crew... seemed to be at peace with one another.  Quiet.  I thought to myself, ::Self, this is going to be a good day.::

On the occasion, we are asked to host an EMT student for a day or two or three.  This EMT student is exposed to our daily routines at the station, rides along with us on calls (observes only), etc.  The main purpose is to expose him/her to as much as we can during a normal shift.  Least to say, we had ourselves a fresh 20-year old EMT student.

At our station, we have a room full of medical supplies to restock our rescue rig (being a rural department, when paramedics are not immediately available, we transport to hospital, etc).  There are shelves full of bandages, splints, and various things... and walls of sterile knick knacks.

There's a knock on my door.  "What shall we get our Butler (referring to the EMT student) to do now?" I was asked.

"We just got more med supplies in.  Have him go to med supply room.  Grab the check list on the clipboard hanging on the wall and have him straighten up the shelves.  I want a supply check done on suction tubes, nasogastric tubes, endotracheal tubes, oral airways, nasal airways, IV supplies and the syringes - all shapes and sizes.  Restock anything that we appear to be running low on. Make sure that there are no empty bins, boxes or shelves.  I want the medical supply room fully stocked, don't want to be reaching for something and it not be there when needed!"  I replied.

I could hear our EMT student rustling in our supply room from my office, which is directly down the hall.  He'd been in there for a while.  He came out a few times and I could ear him ask the guys which shelf *they* were on and the guys would whisper something to him, then snicker and giggle as he walked back into the supply room to I guess, continue his search.

That's when our District Chief arrived.  I was calm.  No better time for a station inspection than the present.  After all, the station was in immaculate condition.  Our engine bay had been scrubbed down and the trucks all washed and sitting ready to roll.  Our record books, training manuals, etc. all up to date.  My crew all in appropriate uniform, relaxed, looking in good shape and in good spirits.  Today would be the day I would get a 'two thumbs up' from our Chief for having the station and crew in order.  After all, everything was going so well.

I met our District Chief in the front foyer.  He gave me the 'pretend I'm not here'.  I returned to our duty room to finish some reports.  Not even five minutes later, he appears in the doorway... arms crossed and leaning against the door jam, shaking his head.

"Cpt. Popowich, explain to me why your EMT student has every medical item pulled off it's shelf and the room looks like a cyclone went through it!?"

"Well Sir, to familiarize him with the many different medical supplies that we are required to stock for emergency purposes, I asked that he inspect and restock our suction tubes, nasogastric tubes, endotracheal tubes, etc.  I am sure that once he's finished, the room will be put back in place as it should be."

"Cpt. Popowich, now explain to me why, when I asked him what the hell he was frantically looking for, he asked me where we keep our FAL-lo-pian tubes?"

Me:  ::blinking my eyes in total disbelief::

"Um, I know I should be able to explain this, but I best go and tell him that they probably aren't in our medical supply room."

Seriously! I didn't know who should be smacked around first.  My crew for being smart asses... or an EMT student that fell for the oldest joke in the book AND who didn't know where to find fallopian tubes.

So, I just closed my door and laughed my ass off!

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        captain
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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Epic Fail During Fire Alarm

I went to visit a friend at her place of employment which just happens to be in a 4 story office building.  And, today just so happens to be one of my first experiences in hearing a fire alarm outside the station, in a long time. The sound was brief, but loud enough for me to get up from my seat, grab my coat, leave my friend's office with her in tow and head out of the maze of cubicles into the main hallway. Only about four other people followed us. (This is an office of 7 people). While we were walking one person asked what we should do, while another mentioned he didn't know where to go. I said we should take the stairs, go down to the lobby, outside and listen for instructions.

I was the only one, besides my friend and her two co-workers, who took the closest stairwell and it made me feel awkward. I don't know, but I think the others may have gone back to their cubicles in the office!  No, can't be, they must be exiting the building, I kept thinking to myself.  It's a fire alarm! But, I couldn't help but start to wonder why we were the only ones in the stairwell, other than a few people a few flights down. Were other people actually waiting for and using the elevator?

When we got to the first floor and looked around, I asked the closest person as we were walking out the main entrance if he heard an announcement or read an email saying the sound was a test - he said no but he thought everything was fine.

Standing out on the sidewalk across the street with about 30 people, no more than 35, I wondered... where the heck is everyone?  This is a 4 story office building, with more than 20 offices in the building and only 30/35 people made it out of the building during this fire alarm!!!

On scheduled, C Crew arrived on scene and within the next 15 minutes or so, we were given notice that it was OK to re-enter the building, false alarm.

As we came off the elevator and walked by the offices, we glanced in the windows to see people going about their business, doing probably the same things they were doing twenty minutes ago when the fire alarm sounded

When did people stop listening to fire alarms?!!!!??????????

UPDATE:  I have been advised that C Crew reported the events that unfolded.  There will be an investigation by Manitoba's Office of the Fire Commissioner (OFC).  OFC takes any dangerous sense of complacency towards fire alarms serious!
I'm feeling pretty darn good about this! They're bringing in the Big Boss!
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       Shadow
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Monday, October 20, 2014

Barney Helps Explain Fireplace Safety

Reporting from Off Scene

I recently received an email and the woman wanted to know how to best educate her small child on fireplace safety, in particularly.  I was more than happy to provide her with basic safety tips, general ideas on what to do, what to say, etc.  Then, after we went through all the safety precautions to take, she had emailed me back and commented on how 'fire smart' my own kids must be.  Let me just say, my oldest learns fast..........
.......... I still remember the very first time my EX wife and I had to explain the concept of fire to Barney's Biggest Fan, our daughter.  She may never forgive us.  One night here in Winnipeg, the temperature had dipped to an intolerably frigid - 43C (if not colder) and I thought it would be a good time to clear the cobwebs from the fireplace and spark up a Duraflame log, lest my family and I be reduced to putting on long sleeves.  Not 30 seconds after I set the log alight, Barney's Biggest Fan (our daughter) wandered over to the marble fireplace in our living room and gazed into the flames.  *Big Gasp*
You know what came next.  She moved purposefully towards the flames, clearly wanting to touch them.  In my opinion, the situation was under control. I was going to let her get close enough to the fire to feel the heat and then tell her that the feeling is called "hot" and that's why we don't get close to the fire. But when her mother entered the room and saw our daughter close enough to the fire to be cast in an orangery glow (but not close enough to, say, make a s'more), her mother freaked out!  And then she turned and freaked on me even more.
"Honey! No! Hot!" her mother said. She then turned yet once again to me and threw me a disdainful look that told be unequivocally that any hope I may have had for sex that night, was dead... in no way happening.
We asked Barney's Biggest Fan is she understood.
"Yes," she said. "Hot. Hot."
 Then, she turned away from the both of us and marched straight toward the fireplace again.
"Nooooo!" I said. "Hot. That's fire. Danger. No touching."
"Hot!" she parroted back.  "No. Hot!"
She then turned and marched straight toward the fireplace yet again.
At this point, given my extensive parenting experience, university education and spectacular command of the obvious, I could see that our approach wasn't getting through to the child.  It was perhaps time to provide a more visual lesson.
I marched over to her toy box, fished for one of her million stuffed Barney dolls, my daughter's holy grail at the time, and returned with the little purple dinosaur.  Without a word, I held Barney up to my daughter's face and then tossed the little f**ker into the fireplace. The asbestos-stuffed dinosaur immediately burst into flames and vanished faster than a pack of condoms on a good weekend for some lucky horny teen.  I then turned to my daughter.
"See? I asked. "Hot. That's fire. Danger. No touching."
Case was closed.  From that night on, she never once went anywhere even remotely near our fireplace.
(I do provide parenting consultations on the side. Email me.  Ha.Ha.Ha.)
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    LadderJockey
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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The Importance of Having Patience... with Patients

Reporting from On Scene
Incident:  Medical Assist



I totally get it. We tend to see our patients at their worst moments in life.

--->   You're scared because your daughter choked on a small toy from her Happy Meal while you weren't watching her because you were down the street, busy with your drug dealer.  You know we're going to be putting a call into Child & Family Services. Yes, I am that asshole.

--->   You had a panic attack when the police arrested you for almost beating the life out of your girlfriend and it's my fault that I'm legally responsible to take your blood pressure.

--->   You drank too much booze, pooped your pants after you drove your now mangled vehicle into the ditch... and I'm not giving you the sympathy you're looking for which makes me a f**king prick. That's cool. I can take it.  I have thick skin.  But... my thick skin isn't covered in poop.

So when a patient comes long that actually appreciates our services, it's a blessing.  It's even nicer when we encounter a patient who doesn't want our company yet still maintains their sense of humor.

Older Gentleman:  (staring in disbelief at the 4 firefighters and two RCMP officers standing in his small apartment and 2 paramedics walking in the door) "What the hell are you all doing here and who kicked my damn door in??!!"

Me:  "Well Sir, your daughter called us because she was concerned about you."

Older Gentleman:  "I'm fine."

Daughter:  "You didn't answer the door Dad."

Older Gentleman:  "I'm going deaf. I couldn't hear it."

Daughter:  "I was ringing and ringing the doorbell, door's locked and you weren't answering the door either Dad."

Older Gentleman:  "The lock is to hopefully keep you out.  I'm trying to sleep."

Daughter:  "You haven't been eating either."

Older Gentleman:  "I haven't been hungry."

Me:  ::blink blink:: looking at my crew and the two paramedics that just walked in.

Daughter:  "You should be eating Dad."

Older Gentleman:  "I'm 89 years old.  I think I know when I need to eat.  I've made it this far in life."

Me:  "Sir, how do you feel?"

Older Gentleman:  "Quite well. Usually with my hands that God gave me."

Just one of these 'good calls' can cancel out a whole bunch of the others.

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        captain
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Leave a Message After The Beep

Reporting From Off Scene

It's so annoying ... when I miss a call from someone and I call them right back. Literally within seconds. And they don't answer or their voice mail comes on.

Like, what the heck?!!

You JUST hung up!

What happened? Did you morph that far away from your cell already?!

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    HoseMonkey
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Sunday, October 12, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving/Turkey Day!!!

Reporting from Off Scene

This is that time of year when we are often asked what we are most thankful for.

Well, to start, I am thankful for the mess that I have to clean up after my company leaves because it means that I am surrounded by close friends that feel comfortable enough to make themselves 'at home' at my place. They matter to me!

Believe it or not, I am thankful for the fact that I pay taxes because it at least means that I have a job, a damn good one too!

I am thankful for the fact that my pants are starting to feel a little snug around the waist, it means that I have plenty of food to eat. (Extra thankful for cookies, chocolate milk, cheerios, slurpees, etc.)

Yes, I bitch and whine about my mortgage, never ending yard work, how my walls and windows need constant cleaning (thanks to youngest son) and the fact that I still have yet to clean my gutters but hey... I'm still thankful for all this because it means that I have a roof over my head. A safe home to call my castle.

I am even thankful for that parking space that I always seem to find at the other end of the parking lot, furthest from the mall entrance, because it means that I am capable of walking and I still have my health to do so.

Living in Canada, I am thankful for that outrageous monthly heating bill I get in the winter because it means that I am at least warm.

I am even thankful for all the crying, screaming, demands, etc. my kids, ex-wives, friends and crew members constantly throw at me because it means that I can only not hear them, but I am still needed and they know they can depend on me.

Firefighter Illustration by Paul Combs





As much as I hate doing laundry and expect that this chore alone will drive me to re-marry, I am thankful for my piles of clothes that need washing and drying because it means I have clothes on my back and I won't be arrested for indecency... well not today anyways.

Even though I get overwhelmed at times with my emails, phone calls, etc, ... I am thankful for them all because it means that I am still alive and have people who are thinking of me.

See y'all after you get up from your turkey-induced coma.

Cheers to you and yours.

To all our American friends... your Turkey day is next!

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        captain
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Fire Hall Cooking 101

Reporting From On Scene

Come on in to our fire hall and gather around as I discuss fire hall cooking.

I am sure that some of you have heard that firefighters are awesome cooks.  I am not 100% sure who may have started the rumor, but for the most part and for some, not so true.  Now, don't go getting me wrong, most firefighters are awesome cooks!  Some men, I am sure, have even taking a few cooking lessons in their day and can (if they were to decide to do so) work in a 4 or 5 star restaurant.

Here at our fire hall, for the most part, we're average.  At least we are average, when we start.  The longer we are firefighters, the better we tend to get, from all the practice with meal preparations.  After all, eating is the one thing we do everyday while on shift, which means cooking.  Usually one to two meals each day and if you are lucky... MAYBE three around here.

Unfortunately, we can't all be in the kitchen, cooking every day. Here at our fire hall, the cooking usually ends up falling to the least senior crew member on duty at the hall (but it does change up). If this guy can't make a decent meal, he's in big trouble. Now, it's true and it happens, the more senior men do often help, either physically, or with recipes, advice and instructions.Then, there are those moments when meals are prepared by the entire crew.



Around here, each crew member seems to have at least one or two meals that he does really well. Mostly, it's because the more senior crew members taught the newer guy how to make, and they taught the newer guys and so on. Traditional meals. And of course, there are the universal meals that everybody makes, even at home.

Meals around this fire hall can be broken down into groups, such as;.

(1)  Meals that could (almost) be found in a 4 or 5 star restaurant. Things like crab legs, chicken cordon-blu, steak and lobster, veal parmigiana, etc.

(2)  Meals that are hearty, but fairly quick to make. Things like homemade spaghetti, goulash, baked chicken.

(3)  Easy and cheap meals. Things like hamburgers, beans and cornbread/rice. 

My advice to a new crew member coming on shift, or a new girlfriend/wife/significant other for that matter, is to learn one thing in each of these categories. Be able to make something quick like hamburgers, or spaghetti, and learn how to make something kinda fancy like crab legs or chicken cordon blu. You can learn others as you go, but have something you can cook well without help.

Coming soon, food porn from our fire hall.

     ╔════════════════╗
Engineer aka: Chauffeur      
     ╚════════════════╝  


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

This Probie Is a Someone!

Reporting from On Scene

For those out there in the vast land of Google or Blogger and who are not familiar with the fire department mentality, here's a thought or two on the subject.

I have heard the fire department referred to as a 'paramilitary organization'.  Some will agree, some may disagree. None the less, we have ranks and we do follow orders... the majority of times.  When on a scene, orders ARE followed and IMMEDIATELY. But, when we are back at the fire hall, it's a little more relaxed (at least here).  The RCMP in our area shake their heads at us, how we jump when we are told to jump by our Captain on scene, and then some argue and mock him a little at the station.  It's just the way it is, for the most part, can't explain it much more.

I have noticed that here at this fire hall, the guys are kind of big on seniority too.  Myself, of course I look up and respect the guys who are here, they have many many years of experience, they have reputable reputations and I am told that others also look up to members that have more seniority than them for the same reason.  There's something to be learned from everyone.

When a new graduate from the Emergency Services College comes on duty, such as myself, I am the Probie.  I am the lowest guy of all and yes it's true, we Probies get all the dirty jobs.  Need a crew member to shovel out the ashes after a fire, the Probie does it.  Need a crew member to wipe vomit off from a drunken homeless man so he can be checked over, the Probie does it.  Need a crew member to clear snow around the fire hydrants, the Probie does it. I think you all get the idea.


When I walked into the fire hall the other day, I was told that my rank would be changing. I was greeted and an arm was wrapped around me and I was told "Today Shadow, you're going to be Someone!"  In fact, he told me that until a new Probie comes along or I decide to walk out the door and not return, I would be a Someone.

(Thinking in my head, these guys might just like me after all.)

Then...

It was explained to me that when I hear the Captain say "Someone needs to take out the trash!" He means me. When I hear one of the guys say that we need to make a pit stop and someone needs to run in and grab some things from the grocery store, he means me.  If I overhear the guys saying that someone needs to clean the mess up, they mean me.

Hip hip hooray!  I am Someone!!

I just hope these assbags old guys appreciate this Someone!  :)

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       Shadow
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Tidbits From a Probie

Reporting from Off Scene

So while most people are enjoying their evenings to themselves after working all day or chasing kids around the house while pulling their hair out, I have been spending my evenings for the past few weeks doing what else - studying, practicing, going over scenarios, etc.

Everyone has friends in their life that you feel comfortable around.  These are the friends that help themselves to the ice in my freezer, and I don't even mind because that means I don't have to get up and do it.  In turn, they sit cross legged on my floor with training manuals and shout out various terminology, scenarios, etc for me to go over. And since we have been running more medical assist calls, I have been going over the basics with that too!

Dislocated shoulder? Yup, got that covered!

Weird look on your patients (friends) face? Yup, that's covered too.

It's nice to have someone to practice on and even better when they don't mind when you have to wedge straps in their groin when you practice strapping them to a board.  They're just happy to help!

Reporting from On Scene

Monday:  Responded to Fire Alarm at 3 story apartment complex.  Grabbed a tool and went to walk over to FireGeezer.  ”Eh, go park your ass by the rig.”
My life for the next little while....

Tuesday:  Responded to MVA.  One call I will probably never forget.  I am looking at it as a crossroads. I could let it eat me up and totally burn me out…or let it be something for me to build on, draw strength from the raw emotion I felt on scene that day.
 I feel bent but certainly not broken....

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       Shadow
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Saturday, October 4, 2014

Exercise? Or Strange Fetish?

Reporting From off scene

It's important to exercise.  I myself, try and exercise almost everyday.  That's why I am always on the look out for the next best thing to help keep me motivated to stay fit.  In fact, just bought myself more kettle bells. I like them a lot.  Kettle bells are a great tool to use for cardio workouts and for focusing on multi-joint exercises.  And, they do help build and improve balance and over all core strength.

But to my horror, I was surfing the net looking for something to add to my workout routines and came across some woman jumping up and down like some horny ass dog on an oversize ball.

Personally, I would never be able to have sex with her.  I would fear for my life.  A swift kick to the thorax kind of thing.

But it did get me thinking, do  women, or men for that matter, actually participate in this kind of exercises?  In your home, would you jump around like a jackass?  With your kids watching, while telling them it's for their own benefit? Because what's good for mommy is good for them too?

I would run to my pony and ride away like the wind.  Might not get anywhere, because it's on springs. But dammit, mommy's crazy!

Save the children!

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    LadderJockey
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Rock'n Out with Katy Perry At The Station

The following conversation happened between me and a couple of crew members while on shift the other day.  Kicking back at the station...

Me:  {wearing headphones, rocking out while sitting in the TV room at station.} "...C'ause you're hot when your cold. You're yes when you're no..."

FF Martin:  "Dude! what the heck are you doing?"

Me:  "What does it look like I am doing?"

FF Martin:  It looks like you're listening to Katy Perry.

Me:  "And....???"

LadderJockey:  {mocking} "AND... Have you forgotten that you're not a 13-year-old girl?"

Me:  "Do you have to be a 13-year old teenie-bopper to listen to Katy Perry?"

LadderJockey:  "It's not that you're just listening to Katy Perry.  You're sitting here bouncing your legs and bopping your head like you're in the middle of a grand mal epileptic seizure.  And, you're lip synching! Do you have any idea how stupid you look?  You're a grown man, for pete's sake.  Where's the Rage Against the Machine and the Rush... or the Stones?"

Me:  "That's stuffs on here too.  It's actually my kids ipod.  Plus, I like this song."

FF Martin:  {long pause} "What did you just say?"

Me:  "I like this song."

LadderJockey:  {Stands up on chair, cups hands around mouth and begins to shout to the entire crew.}  "Excuse me! Guys! I have an announcement to make.  See this little bitch sitting right here? Yeah! Well, he's a grade-A, Defcon-5, please-keep-your-hands-and-feet-inside-the-train-at-all-times pussy!  He listens to Katy Perry.  Thought you all should know. That's all!"

Me:  "Are you finished yet?"

LadderJockey:  "Yup!"

Cpt. Driedger:  "Not yet. One second. {Gets on chair and begins to shout} Oh Yeah! Attention men. He's also the one that broke wind in the cab the other day that sent you all scurrying for your air packs!  {Gets down from chair} NOW... we're done!"

Me:  "Good. Because Taylor Swift song is coming on next."

Seriously, they just couldn't cut me any slack!

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    HoseMonkey
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Thursday, October 2, 2014

Battling a Blaze at Winnipeg City Pool

Reporting from on scene
incident:  Structural Fire

Of all places for a fire... a public pool!



Crew was called to battle a blaze at one of our public pools, Margaret Grant Pool.  The fire was in the basement, which was sparked when construction workers who were digging up a concrete floor ignited a paper construction product underneath.

Thankfully, there were no members of the public at the pool.  City staff and the construction workers were forced outside.  Two people were taken to hospital with smoke inhalation.  At one point, crew was ordered out of the building for safety reasons. 

The pool remains closed until further notice.

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      Lieutenant
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Winnipeg Paramedic Critically Injured In Condo Explosion

Reporting from on scene
Incident:  Explosion

It's saddens us to learn that the man that was badly injured in an explosion that destroyed a condo unit this week, is one of our City's paramedics... a husband and a father. Corey Schroeder lays in an induced coma in hospital with severe burns.


The blast blew out an exterior wall of a condo unit and sparked a fire. The damage was so severe, two adjoining units are also considered to be unsafe to enter.

Schroeder was using a chemical product to remove glue from his basement floor after carpet had been removed.  It's believed that the furnace came on while Schroeder was working, which resulted in a spark setting off the explosion.

Schroeder managed to make it out of the rubble wearing only shorts and a mask over his face and covered in burns.  His wife and 6-year old daughter were not at home at the time.  The neighbours directly beside Schroeder's condo unit, weren't home at the time of the blast either.

Investigation is still on going.  Damage is estimated at $450.00.

We wish Schroeder a speedy recovery and our prayers and blessings will remain with him and his family!

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      Lieutenant
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Animation - Not Just For Kids!

Reporting from off scene

Disney's "Planes:  Fire & Rescue" is rated PG and has a running time of 1 hour and 23 minutes.  Pure entertainment!
"...... When world-famous air racer Dusty learns that his engine is damaged and he may never race again, he must shift gears and is launched into the world of aerial firefighting.  Dusty joins forces with veteran fire and rescue helicopter Blade Ranger and his team, a bunch of all-terrain vehicles known as The Smoke Jumpers.  Together, the fearless team battles a massive wildfire, and Dusty learns what it takes to become a true hero......"

I found this movie to be highly entertaining and it has a very powerful message behind it - that it's very possible to overcome a handicap to find a new purpose in life.  I also particularly enjoyed the fact that this movie paid a well-deserved tribute to our first responders.



So, should you see it or skip it?  I would recommend that you see it, but be warned that some of the scenes could be intense for young viewers/kids, as I found out with my youngest at 4 years of age.

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Engineer aka: Chauffeur      
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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Power of Pink

Reporting from off scene

Boobs, Milk Duds, Jugs, Melons, Knockers, Rascals, Fun Bags, Sweater Stretchers, Cleavage, Cans, Pillows, Honkers, Twins, Humpty Dumplings, Hardy Boys, Double Lattes, Ode to Joys, Titties, Hooters, Bobbsey Twins, Traffic Stoppers, Super Big Gulps, Double Whoppers, Jello Jigglers, Peter Pointers… etc… and the list goes on.

You can call yours just about what ever you want… us men like ‘em just the same and so is true for women.

Guys, I know that it’s extremely tempting to constantly be giving your wife/girlfriend a squeeze here and there, however, there is so much more to a woman’s breast that just being our own personal squeeze toys. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the “drive by” ‘boob squeeze as much (actually more) than the next guy but when it comes to Breast Cancer, there’s no fooling around.

Female firefighters are 3-5 times more likely to get breast cancer then the general public and are exposed to more than 200 carcinogens connected to breast cancer in every fire. Manitoba firefighters have worked with government to help bring together the scientific and medical research showing that firefighters experience higher rates of certain cancers.

Manitoba, Canada recognizes breast cancer as an on-the-job hazard and Provincial legislation has now deemed that female firefighters diagnosed with breast cancer are eligible for compensation (workers compensation benefits will now be paid for firefighters suffering from multiple myeloma, primary-site prostate and skin cancers, etc…).

I have a pink shirt and proudly wear it to show my support. During the month of October, our ‘power of pink’ t-shirts are considered part of our standard issued uniform!

I’m pretty proud of our fire service and union for fighting to protect our ladies kazongas!

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        captain
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Can I Help You Firemen?

Reporting From On Scene
Incident:  Residential Structural Fire

We were toned out to a reported house fire.  Dispatch informed us that it was a kitchen fire, possibly working electrical fire.  We arrive on scene at the 1300 sq foot single story home.  Home's occupant(s) were no where to be seen outside the home.

We get to the front door, an elderly woman answers our banging, sees us in full bunker gear with radios out, and proceeds to ask us "Can I help you firemen?" Seriously?

As if she wasn't expecting the Fire Department to arrive on scene after she called 911.  Who the heck was she expecting?  And what the heck was she still doing IN THE HOUSE!!??

Me:  "Ma'am, did you call 911 about a fire?"
Elderly Lady:  "Yes, I did."
< smoke now filling the hallway, coming from back of house >
Me:  "You need to step outside with me, NOW!"
< extending my arms out to escort her out >

After we escorted her out of the house, we made our way thru to the kitchen in the back of the house to find our fire.  The cause of the fire was an over heated extension cord.  Being that it was an older home, I only noticed one outlet over the counter and she had every single appliance from her coffee pot... to her mixer... to a clock... to a radio... to a fan plugged into a standard extension cord.

She informed us later that when the extension cord started to spark and caught fire, she panicked and threw some tea towels over the cord thinking that she would smother the fire.

WRONG!

It didn't take us long at all to attack and knock down this small kitchen fire. Then, a call was made to the appropriate authorities, requesting that a welfare check for our sweet little old lady!

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      Firegeezer
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